Hot New TV Show!

It’s finally happened. After years of Trek being off the air, the Prophets have blessed us with a brand new TV show! Will it live up to what has already come before it? I dont know. The new ship is pretty sweet I’ll give them that…

Ok ok great opening too. I admit I heard the theme song start after I read this

(deeeeee….doooooo….deeeeee…dooooo)
DAAA dadadadaDAAAA dadadadaDAAAA

The Enterprise is out there in space. Doing space stuff. And…uhhh…what?? Like a what? Going deep?? What kind of comic IS this??

Oh she sounds thirsty alright

We get an opening shot of the bridge crew. Everyone is there to properly introduce themselves. In BOLD ink so we make sure not to miss their names (as is comics tradition). And we learn they are on a standard mission to “T-B 13”

Apparently, Troi has “visions” thanks to being half Betazoid. And Data is super excited for the mission. Which Riker notes is extremely common for him. He also has adrenal fluids??

If you prick him does he not leak?

Picard gets some tea served to him on the bridge but his yeoman is a scrappy young lad instead of a miniskirt wearing lady. Picard then immediately scolds Riker for sitting funny in his chair. Oh if only he knew….

Worf scans the planet and praises the idea of small talk while waiting for the data to filter in. Then Crusher busts on to the bridge with Wesley in tow (so this comic is definitely getting some things right but others horribly wrong)

In the process of establishing contact, the planet representatives welcome the crew in peace, but then the Enterprise is fired upon. So you could say theres some mixed signals.

Picard sends an away team down to see wtf is their problem and we get some…interesting original characters to take their place on the bridge. A married couple appropriately named “The Bickersons”

Are those uniforms Federation issue??

Picard gets sick of their shit and leaves the bridge only to run in to Wesley so not sure he made the right choice there. Dr. Crusher is not far behind and they share a moment about Jack Crushers death. Just to throw out it out there. This also gives Picard a chance to remind us he hates kids. This is important.

The away team beams down and are immediately ambushed. We discover that not only does Data get excited, but he’s a total adrenaline junkie

Geordi I would ask you to choke me if I required the intake of oxygen

The Enterprise conveniently cant get the away team back like what happens every time the away team s in trouble and needs beaming up. So they have to duck and dodge phaser fire including from a massive gundam

What is this? An away team for ants?

The team distracting the assailants, Data parkours up the machine and takes it over turning it against their enemies. Who proceed to cry and beg the away team not to tell on them.

Yar is so confused

Turns out these masters of the universe looking dudes are actually children. Yes they age backwards. Meaning the adults look like children. Much to Picard’s discomfort

This is Wesley’s fault somehow!

The children were just playing a game and never meant true harm. The adults will properly beat their asses later as punishment. So all’s well that ends well.

This comic obviously took ideas from the original series (Picard getting served his tea like Kirk got his coffee from Yeoman Rand) and had no idea how to handle this new crew just yet.

This comic series was all made before TNG even aired so all they had to go on was the series bible to work with. And knowing how even the first two seasons of the show went, we cant blame the comic writers for getting things horribly horribly wrong.

But we can find amusement in it šŸ˜‰

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